John Berger was always sensitive to this fact, the way that, for example, male chauvinism in Western cultures is maintained by the cultural norm that the male gaze towards a woman is a relationship of domination through objectification :
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(Berger (1972) Ways of Seeing Essay 3, p. 46).
Berger describes the Western portrayal of women since the European Renaissance in nudes, magazines and pornography, and points out how 'men act and women appear':
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(Berger 1972, p. 55)
But in a much broader sense, beyond gender, the gaze of judgement, and the awareness of being watched can create an uncomfortable power dynamic in everyday life. For sensitive people like me, even walking down a street in Sydney can be a harrowing experience- our city in general is one in which interactions are overwhelmingly visual, and people - especially women- size eachother up, and look eachother up and down.
I used to feel self-conscious on King Street when i lived ten metres from it- the whole street was such a catwalk- and busloads of bored commuters would continually be staring at you. Some people loved the attention, and making such bold statements on it, but i sometimes felt judged when i walked down in daggy clothes from hanging out at home- perhaps i should have seen it as a 'statement' but to get away with such counter-cultural things and wear pjs or something, but sometimes you need to have a particular approach...
and this can even happen within the home- if i live with people who are viewing me critically, there is much tension- I experience this as a constriction of space. When I explain the situation to other people, spatial metaphors and 'breathing' metaphors always emerge- "I feel trapped", "I need fresh air" "I am constricted". You know how sometimes a person can walk into a room and the whole atmosphere changes for the negative? There is often an unacknowledged power dynamic of fear going on... I'd like to know how to intervene in this, and transform this power dynamic creatively...
Anyway. There was a quote at the end of an email I just received- that was about acceptance and judgement... by a Swami (are they Hindu gurus or some other religion?) And the passage probably offers a greater insight than I have given here: that self acceptance is a necessary prerequisite for acceptance of others.
"To accept one-self means to accept others. Understanding others presupposes understanding oneself. To give freedom to others means to have freedom oneself. To make others happy means to make one-self happy. To forgive others, means to forgive one-self. Just as the cause is found only within our-self, so too is the solution to our problems."
- His Holiness, Paramhans Swami Maheshwarananda
That really, our problem with judgementalism in Sydney is a problem with insecurity and a lack of self acceptance...
